You're going to love this: Quotes from famous people as well as not-so-famous people (even some infamous people) as well as people you even know yourself. Also, there are plenty of quotes from me and my friends. If I find them entertaining, they go here. Feel free to repeat them to others, or even keep a page to put your own quotes down and e-mail them to me. It doesn't have to make sense, it just has to make someone laugh ^.^
All newest quotes are bolded at the bottom. Enjoy!
--Dokuhebichan
Updated 8/23/2009
1. “There's a worse room than this? How?!? Is it on fire?!?” --Garfiend
2. “Other than watching you die, there's really nothing we can do.” --Major Baklava, Clerks: The Animated Series
3. “Another urban myth dispelled: Ninjas do not bounce.” --Batmanuel, The Tick
4. “The way to a man's heart is through his chest.” --Aaron Allston
5. “That's so plausible I can't believe it!” --Leela, Futurama
6. “Good luck finding a candy-flavored ferret.” --Captain Murphy, SeaLab 2021
7. “You were doing well until everyone died.” --God, Futurama
8. “Life is like an analogy.” --Aaron Allston
9. “Only a dickwad lower than slime would use an opportunity like this to sneak into your pants. I was almost that dickwad, damnit!” --Dee, FAKE
10. “Excuse me, kind sir. Would you care to donate to the Anti-Mugging-You Fund?” --Bender, Futurama
11. “Like anyone with an I.Q. comparable to his shoe size has enough smarts to recognize if a teaching style’s good or bad.” --Lai, FAKE
12. “Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them as much.” --Oscar Wilde
13. “Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.” --Steve Landesberg
14. “You seem somewhat familiar, have I threatened you before?” --Captain Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl
15. “You have absolutely no idea how lucky you are to even be graced by my presence.” --Lai, FAKE
16. “I know what I felt, damnit!! I was floating!!” --Bikky, FAKE
17. “Having a mini mutiny, are we?” --Kidnapper, FAKE
18. “Fork over some dead presidents, if you would.” --JJ, FAKE
19. “Shut up and be my human shield, okay?” --Dee, FAKE
20. “Grandma, stop pimping me!” --Fox
21. “People don’t just disappear, Jim. It’s a molecular impossibility.” --Grissom, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
22. “I’m just hanging around you because I feel sorry for your geeky, I-don’t-got-no-friends ass!!” --Bikky, FAKE
23. “That’s what the internet is for: slandering others anonymously!” --Banky Edwards, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back
24. “I wouldn’t trust my hangnail to the likes of you!!” --Bikky, FAKE
25. “Stop being such a baby and chop my hands off!” --Fry, Futurama
26. “There are many mysteries in this universe, big and small. Like why do clowns make us laugh? Why do we love puppy dogs? And why, why do little blue midgets hit me with fish?” --The Tick
27. “Well, this it world. You know, I always thought you’d die before me.” --Homer Simpson, The Simpsons
28. “I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded – dead.” --Woody Allen
29. “This concept of ‘wuv’ confuses and infuriates us!” --Lrr, Futurama
30. “Eat healthy. Exercise. Die anyway.” --Unknown
31. “Good health is merely the slowest rate at which one can die.” --Unknown
32. “GOOD MORNING, HARI!! OH, I’M SORRY, DID WE WAKE YOU?! WE HAD NO IDEA WE WERE BEING SO LOUD!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!” --Ayama Sohma, Fruits Basket
33. “That’s great! I can hug you!” --Momiji Sohma, Fruits Basket
34. “Why are you grabbing my booby?” --Milo Oblong, Oblongs
35. “Hey, I had to double my Ritalin to get this calm!” --Milo Oblong, Oblongs
36. “Milo, stop talking about your how ugly your brother is! And Chip, leave your brother’s rancid breath out of this! I won’t have these insults in my house!” --Pickles Oblong, Oblongs
37. “Should I go away from the light, or towards it?” --Bob Oblong, Oblongs
38. “That’s my eyeball, damnit! Not your keep-away toy!” --Dokuhebichan
39. “So, anyway, she’s driving off with his pants …” --Dokuhebichan
40. “It’s because I don’t look like me.” --Charlie Chaplin
41. “Dear Lord, thank you for this wonderful bounty of rich people’s crap. Amen.” --Pickles Oblong, Oblongs
42. “Dear God or God-like figure, please make my doggy all better. I mean, look around here, you OWE me. If my dog is not better by the morning, the Devil has a new errand boy. Praise the Lord. Amen.” --Milo Oblong, Oblongs
43. “That’s not true, we’ll only be alive for the first half of the burning.” --Creepy Susie, Oblongs
44. “Eww, we can see up mom’s dress. Hey those are my underwear.” --Milo Oblong, Oblongs
45. “…you’re having too much fun with your hand.” --Satan
46. “I’m lonely … I want a slave.” --Ishachan
47. “Don’t forget to remember.” --Ishachan
48. “YOINK!” --Satan
49. “This is good, now we gotta surrender our socks.” --Saving Private Ryan
50. “See? He’s not naked! There’re his pants!” --Dokuhebichan
51. “The night is young and we have umbrellas in our drinks.” --The Tick
52. “Help me you dork!” --Ishachan
53. “Stop pulling on my secret hiding spot!” --Dokuhebichan
54. “Eww … my pants.” --Ishachan
55. “Honk if you love peace an quiet.” --Bumper Sticker
56. “Keep honking, I’m reloading.” --Bumper Sticker
57. “Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.” --Unknown
58. “You’re only supposed to bleed when I pick at you!” --Dokuhebichan
59. “God I love my feet. I love nothing more than looking at my feet all the time.” --Dan Green
60. “I can feel it … They’re calling for the Hashah-ohm behind the, from whatever place.” --Addie Blaustein
61. “If I had a dime for every time you said the word ‘destiny,’ I’d be even richer.” --Seto Kaiba, Yu-Gi-Oh!
62. "Thats a nice little piece of nothing you're almost not carrying around." --Groucho Marx
63. "No matter how tightly I close my eyes those damn cats wont stop doing the Macarana." --Fox
64. "Pigs ... EVIL Pigs ... Piggies ... under my bed ... out to get me ... EVIL Piggies." --Little Susie, KillFrog.com
65. "Well thats too damn bad, I'm gunna support him whether he likes it or not." --Lois, Malcolm in the Middle
66. "Eww a booger ... I almost ate that, too." --Dokuhebichan
67. "I'll be in my lab bathing in paste ... don't disturb me." --Zim, Invader Zim
68. "If I get ten dollars from both of you thats like two thousand dollars." --Cartman, South Park
69. "You're as tender as corned beef and as warm as pastrami." --Greeting Card, Futurama
70. "Your body must be like the stone and your mind like the meatloaf." --Martial Arts Instructor, South Park
71. "How can I resist it? His ass is so great!" --Craig, South Park
72. "Go put on something with straps or velcro. We've got work to do." --Greg, Dharma & Greg
73. "Now everyone think of a number and lick the watcher's face." --old lady, Dharma & Greg
74. "Shenlong, what are you doing outside of your balls?" --Shenlong's Trainer, Zarbon's Masterpiece Theater
75. "Its not worth living if I cant be beautiful." --Howl, Howl's Moving Castle
76. "Go fornicate yourself with a steel rod!" --Konekochan
77. "I dont wanna go to the valley! This car was built in America! It smells like poor people." --Debbie, Oblongs
78. "And then the squirrel ate Dib's freaky head." --GIR, Invader Zim
79. "You krack-a jack-a ma flack-a dack stupid bastards." --Piccolo the Proctologist, Zarbon's Masterpiece Theater
80. "Her heart was in perfect condition ... in fact, I have it over here." --Albert the Coroner, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
81. "Would you do it for a Shenlong Snack?" --Shenlong's Trainer, Zarbon's Masterpeice Theater
82. "I hate it when the guy in front of me smells, and the guy in back of me smells. Its like being stuck in the middle of a FUNK SANDWICH!" --Foamy the Squirrel
83. "Good job, Nappa. Here's a cookie." --Piccolo, Zarbon's Masterpiece Theater
84. "I know its not true, but somehow I feel like this is our fault." --Chip, Oblongs
85. "So its like mushy donut porridge..." --Vic Mignogna
86. "Remember what the test adminstrator said? You peek and we all fail." --Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto
87. "Hell hath no fury like a woman, with a massive murdering robot army, scorned." --(forgot name)One of Mom's sons, Futurama
88. "Yes! Corruptible Children!" --Dokuhebichan
89. "Now listen to me! Pohr-song per so-sao! You got it?! Pohr-song per so-sao!!" --Cartman, South Park
90. "Uh bluh bluh, I'm Vegeta. Bluh bluh bluh, I'm better than you." --Nappa the Redneck, Zarbon's Masterpiece Theater
91. "Sparkly, sparkly, sparkly, sparkly, sparkly, sparkle, sparkle, sparkly, sparkly. Shuichi's ALLL sparkly!!" --Ryuichi Sakuma, Gravitation
92. "What the?! Hey, quit it! .......awwww ... you kids. I love you, too. Now please, get off of me." --Snape the Potions Master, Harry Potter Puppet Pals
93. "La de da POO & ASS." --Charles
94. "There he isn't!" --Oniisan
95. "Look at me! Steal my money!" --Chibisuke
96. "Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, DAMNIT!" --Oniisan
97. "Do not pass go, do not collect $200, and do not, I repeat, DO NOT drop the soap." --Chibisuke
98. "That's 150 channels! Do you know how many that is? It's 150!" --Real Commercial
99. "That makes sense. Let's BRING the guy that's constantly trying to kill us!" --Sokka, Avatar: The Last Airbender
100. "I am Ishachan! I know everything!" --Nene
101. "Why do athletes get paid so much for something that children can do with a pine cone and a stick?" --Tim
102. "If you weren't my son, I'd hug you." --Hank, King of the Hill
103. "Some day you are going to be jumped and beaten senseless by all the people you have insulted." --Mrs. N.
104. "This has nothing to do with jelly!" --Zim, Invader Zim
105. "Bilingual sounds naughty." --Oniisan
106. "Just because you're destined to save the world, don't expect any special treatment." --Master Paku, Avatar: The Last Airbender
107. "How did I get here, and why am I covered in drool?" --Beast Boy, Teen Titans
108. "Man, I haven't been here since the last time I was here." --Otousan
109. "The greatest source of pornography is on the nature channel." --Tim
110. "Excuse me, ma'am, do you have change for a billion?" --Chibisuke
111. "NO! YOU'RE NOT DIRT!" --GIR, Invader Zim
112. "You can call 'em Whitey Whackers." --Homer, The Simpsons
113. "Much obliged little bat thing." --Storyteller, Avatar: The Last Airbender
114. "Oh thats so cool that you think of me as not one of your kids." --Van, Reba
115. " 'Classical Art.' A term used when a person has no idea what it is." --Tim
116. "You have nothing to lose but everything." --Tim
117. "Ah man yo dang yo wedgie city man dang yo." --Bomhower, King of the Hill
118. "I noticed that the most important stuff is yelled. So, if it was important, they would be louder." --Oniisan
119. "Anyone care for some chocolate-covered juice?" --Dokuhebichan
120. "One thing's for sure, we've gotta do something about those two look-alike guys from China." --Shido Fuyuki, Get Backers
121. "How dare you trick me into transporting pigs and not you!" --Emishi, Get Backers
122. "Well everybody, you all know whats what. We're gunna go beat each other senseless for a little while." --Ban Midou, Get Backers
123. "I did nothing to your partner except brainwash him with a few drugs." --Daitetsu, Get Backers
124. "DOCTOR!! MR. KAKEI IS SAYING THINGS THAT DON'T MAKE SENSE AGAIN!" --Nurse, Get Backers
125. "It's a rather unusual feeling, chopping myself into bits like this, over and over again. But ... it's not a BAD feeling." --Kuroudo Akabane, Get Backers
126. "What's with the attitude? We're the ones who carried you all the way here. Would it kill ya to say 'Thank you Emishi you're a God among men'?" --Emishi, Get Backers
127. "Oh my God ... the mushrooms! They're Asian!" --Heard at school
128. "If you like that, wait 'till you see my finger-safe knife sharpener. Only took me three tries to get it right." --Leader of Earthbenders at West Air Temple, Avatar: The Last Airbender
129. "Got toga?" --Tim
130. "AHH! GROSS! IT'S LIKE AN ASS BURGER!" --Oniisan
131. "What is the greatest power of all? The getting and using of porn." --Chibisuke
132. "The next person that tells me how they 'feel' is getting kicked in the nuts!" --Heard at school
133. "Was gunfire and an angry giant part of the plan, too?" --Genji Amano, Get Backers
134. "That guy Tex is actually a robot, and you're his boyfriend. So that would make you ........ a gay robot." --Caboose, Red vs. Blue
135. "I am the Rainbow Devil! Fear me and my flower power!" --Michael
136. "Of all the funny lines I say in a day, you just had to pick the gay one." --Michael
137. "Fuck you! Wait a minute, what?" --Ishachan
138. "I'm surrounded by 2 people ... that have the most retarded shirts in the world." --Jack
139. "A burning vending machine ..." --Heard at school
140. "And YOU wanted to believe the lie!" --Homer Simpson, Simpsons
141. "They don't care if its a girl, they're just looking for a black guy." --Michael
142. "What I mean by pleasant is inappropriate." --Mrs. B.
143. "I would catch you, but it's so nice outside." --Satan
144. "What the hell?! Have you been hanging out over there?!" --Rosutokun
145. "I've had enough of you! Take your nuts and go!" --Reba, Reba
146. "If stupid shit is all you put on your site, then the whole thing must be a biography of me ...... and Bush." --Michael
147. "Cats can fly! Well ... if they're thrown hard enough." --Ishachan
148. "B - R - I - E - something - something - the #7 - the letter q." --Donte
149. "Don't do that! Do you do that at home? Put your book on people's stove?" --Mrs. B.
150. "I'm probably the most popular kid ever, but I refuse to let it go to my head." --Van, Reba
151. "I don't think so! In order to get to me, you'll have to go through your own fathe - oh, damn." --Daniel the Robot boy, Simpsons
152. "But I like the Sun. It's a huge ball of fire hanging in the sky, what's there not to like?" --Satan
153. "AH! You drank our Emperor!!" --Guard, Futurama
154. "OhmyGodI'monfire!" --Tom, Decline in Video Gaming 2
155. "Okay, you throw man with parachute and I'll throw man without parachute and we'll see who hits the ground first!" --Dokuhebichan
156. "First I'll be chiseling some teeth out of your jaw bone... now hold still while I gas you." --Dentist, The Simpsons
157. "Remember, a can of soda does not mean oranges are cannibals. It means that I would prefer to be rubber ball. If I were a glass ball, I would break when dropped." --Chibisuke
158. "Awwww ... what a nice, worthless story." --Shichan
159. "Ya know, this is completely devoid of anything that even remotely resembles intelligence." --Shichan
160. "Well, I want to know who let the dogs out? They are barking their heads off. Can elephants fly? I dunno, but they sure can swim through trees." --Chibisuke
161. "Why are the voices in my head speaking in Morse Code? I don't know Morse Code dude!" --Kitsunechan
162. "You know, I really do feel sorry for you, so I'm gunna give you a free cupholder! Be right back......" --Hotel Manager
163. "To tell you the truth, bowling balls don't float." --Shichan
164. "After about 3 hours of living in a cave under a highway overpass, you realize that a tornado is coming." --Heard on the News
165. "Somebody once told me to follow the yellow brick road and I'm thinking these munchkins have a whole bunch of time on their hands. I mean, who would bother to build a road of bricks and then paint it yellow? I wonder how many Oz-dollars they spent on that project." --Chibisuke
166. "And of course he has to burst into flames." --Charlie, Charlie the Unicorn
167. "It's time now to go through the phases of mitosis!!" --Mrs. F.
168. "Now what could we do? I know! World Capitals!" --Shichan
169. "Hey! Lets list all the zip codes in Murfreesboro, Tenessee!" --Shichan
170. "Well, I say go fly a kite! What is the capital city of Turkey? Gravy of course!" --Shichan
171. "That's super nifty spifftastic!" --Ishachan
172. "In order to understand that, you need to be staring at something really really awesome." --Ishachan
173. "You've got to put down the ducky if you want to play the saxophone." --Chibisuke
174. "Guns don't kill people ... Books do!" --Otousan (referring to Death Note)
175. "It's a choo-choo shoe Charlie!" --Blue Unicorn, Charlie the Unicorn 2
176. "This will eventually spawn a chain of events which will result in the total destruction of my lovelife." --Shichan
177. "But there's fighting and talking lions and Minotaurs and very pretty princes and it's all on your birthday! How can you not rejoice?" --Dokuhebichan
178. "HA! I stole your soul with that hug." --Senpaichan
179. "So, wait... You're just going to come in here and lure me with fantasies of drunken naked women with huge rolls of cash and free food and then just leave me with nothing?! Where's what was promised?! Where's the booze? The boobs? The bundles of Benjamins? And most importantly ..... I WANT THAT DELICIOUS FREE FOOD!!!" -- Klad
180. "Do not antagonize the ninja, for you are squashy and look good with knives." --Jenova
181. "I hate my brain." --Dokuhebichan
182. "I'm a perfectly normal man. I love my wife and I love my children ... and sometimes I like to hook up with other men who also love their wives and love their children." --Random Suspect, Law & Order: SVU
183. "These ... PANTS." --Dokuhebichan
184. "If I could steal any ONE Japanese man, it would be Miyavi." --Senpaichan
185. "Who wouldn't do Johnny Depp? .................. Wait, did I say that out loud?" --Hayatekun
186. "You there! Spiffy! Give me a hug! And now you're coming with me." --Senpaichan
187. "All those acts of compassion and kindness ... they go against everything I've ever stood for. It feels like my soul has been captured and trampled." --Klad
188. "I'm not paranoid! I swear! I really am being watched by a Japanese billionaire with too much free time." --Senpaichan
189. "All I want is some time alone and a bag to sleep in. Is that too much to ask?" --A Bum's Sign
190. "We should get together some time and eat paste." --JT, Ben 10: Alien Force
191. "Suck my ectoplasmic von schtucker." --Johann Krauss, Hellboy II: The Golden Army
192. "You call that hurt? I'll show you hurt! A bed of nails ..... and a walrus!!" --Edward, Camp Lazlo
193. "Nobody here but us hams." --Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo
194. "Well ... I can respect your opinion. Sadly, I do not handle rejection well ... so, unfortunately, you will have to die." --Dr. Woodrue, Batman & Robin
195. "When its a human, its an abortion. When its a chicken, its an omelette." --George Carlin
196. "There's just something about an anatmoically correct rubber suit that puts fire in a girl's heart." --Poison Ivy, Batman & Robin
197. "You are an evil little foreign man ....... never change." --Stephen Hyde, That 70s Show
198. "If revenge is a dish best served cold, then put on your Sunday best. Its time to feast!" --Mr. Freeze, Batman & Robin
199. "You're never too old to burn to death in a fire." --Red Foreman, That 70s Show
200. "Ah, the room's so blue ... I want to lick it." --Hayatekun
201. "Yup, we'll kill her later, we have work to do." --Batman, Batman & Robin
202. "Lets shampoo us some aliens!!" --Ira Kane, Evolution
203. "AHH! YOUR FACE! AHHH! HER FACE!! AHH!! YOU AGAIN!! MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP!!! GET OUT!!!" --Maki, Ghost Stories
204. "It happened RIGHT behind my eyes!" --Dokuhebichan
205. "The point is, orange juice is not a factor." --Ray
206. "This rubber cement smells awesome! It smells like pineapples!" --Heard at school
207. "I refuse to say anything remotely gay, bi, or trisexual ...... note that." --Michael
208. "Sora's final form is like an orgasm!" --Izzy
209. "Hold it! Stop everything! My back hurts and I need bacon." --Ray
210. "NIFTY!" --Konekochan
211. "I know nothing of this thing of which you speak of!" --Satan
212. "I never wanna know that again." --Ishachan
213. "My favorite color is ............. blurple." --Heard at school
214. "Don't cradle it into your bosom, it's mine." --Satan
215. "I'm getting into this coffin now, and you're going to get in on top if you know what's good for you!" --Lestat, Interview With A Vampire
216. "Danny!! That pumpkin was the only thing I had going for me! How could you?!" --Mr. R
217. "I can't go to my happy place!! My happy place is full of gang members!!" --Tim
218. "Your cigarette is one long cylindrical ash ....." --Louis, Interview With A Vampire
219. "After all, what are rich people? Poor people with money." --Franky, Coney Island
220. "What are you doing with this?! ... Wait ... what the hell is this?" --Otousan
221. "Rejoice! He has arrived in all his glorious glory!" --Follower of 'the Great One,' Ben 10
222. "......It sucks planet innards?" --Senpaichan
223. "Well, here's my face. I'm waiting." --Eddy, Coney Island
224. "It will be the end of the world as you know it. REJOICE! REJOICE! REJOICE!" --Follower of 'the Great One,' Ben 10
225. "STINK! Never underestimate the power of stink!" --Inventor, Avatar: the Last Airbender
226. "Survival ......... what a drag." --Klad
227. "His beauty! His power! His pus!" --Followers of 'the Great One,' Ben 10
228. "Oh, and I have one more word of advice ... just don't die." --Hibika, Naruto
229. "We see every case objectively regardless of race, gender, creed or bubblegum flavor." --Gill Grissom, CSI
230. "Hey! It's raining string beans! What is this magical place?!" --Chowder, Chowder
231. "BAM! John Wayne out of nowhere!" --Dokuhebichan
232. "I've tried everything! Threats, intimidation, violence. Nothing works!" --Klad
233. "You have opinions ... and they lock you in a cage." --Mung, Chowder
234. "Don't take life so seriously, it's not permanent." --Unknown
235. "Anyway, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted by that mannequin..." --Ishachan
236. "Let's see... Do I wanna eat or buy a gallon of gas so I can go to work? Hmmm..." --The Buzz
237. "And once again, the sandwich heavy portfolio pays off for the hungry consumer!" --Zoidberg, Futurama
238. "That was my favorite tooth ...... Now I'm mad." --Chowder, Chowder
239. "Revenge is mine! So sayeth the hologram!" --Sam, Quantum Leap
240. "No, it's true! He is intelligent, he just doesn't use his powers for good." --Senpaichan
241. "So you have to choose between sex and living? Man that's rough." --Fry, Futurama
242. "...DAMN his girlish fingers!" --Senpaichan
243. "Giant frogs, giant frogs, what can I say? Back to you ..." --Lewis Black
244. "Later, have you ever seen a leopard? Find out if you want to, tonight! On 'Cat Patterns.' Your local news is next..." --Heard on TV
245. "It ain't everyday you get to see something you've never seen before." --Shichan
246. "If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college." --Lewis Black
247. "99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer. Swab one down, run it through CODIS ... 98 bottles of beer on the wall." --Greg, CSI
248. "You can't swim with that kind of injury! You're HORRIBLY disfigured!" --Markheim
249. "..........with BREAD from your PANTS?!" --Shichan
250. "Call me crazy. Or call me Phyllis .... YEA! Call me Phyllis!!" --Heard on TV
251. "Woah ... uh ... guys? Don't wanna panic here, but ... I'm SHRINKING!" --Trent, Total Drama Island
252. "If you're lying, I could easily rearrange your face. You know that, right?" --Klad
253. "To me, 'nicer' translates to 'more expensive'." --Otousan
254. "What did the blonde say when she opened the box of Cheerios? ...Oh look! Donut seeds!" --Heard in movie theatre
256. "It's all fun and games until I poke your eye out." --Senpaichan's Okaasan
257. "All I know is, if you see a black man running, you run, too." --Hayatekun
258. "Think outside the rug." --Grissom, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
259. "How can you accuse me of employing innuendo when I am saying in the plainest possible language that you're a complete idiot?" --Mrs. B
260. "What an incredible smell you've discovered." --Han Solo, Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope
261. "Come, we have an army to build." --Eric Lyncher/Magneto, X-Men 3: The Last Stand
262. "A car is traveling at 15 m/s, then suddenly stops to prevent the killing of a yeti. It took the driver 5 seconds to come to complete stop. What happened to the yeti?" --Physics class
263. "I missed your passion, your tenacity ... I even missed your tush." --Grissom, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
264. "That is true ... But that was then, and this is delicious! It is like there is a party in my mouth and everyone is in attendance!" --Chuckie, Chop Socky Chooks
265. "Where're the straws? ....... You put them in your pants?!" --Dokuhebichan
266. "Kinda like a rabbit ... ribbit ribbit ribbit." --Mrs. S
267. "Its not rape if you yell 'SURPRISE!'." --Heard in movie theatre
268. "I believe the phrase is 'is there something Kiso-y on the horizon?'." --Senpaichan
269. "I'll tell you my story in a way you can understand with a beginning, middle, and end. Lets start at the middle." --Dr. Paradox, Ben 10: Alien Force
270. "You order something, you eat it, you don't die. Whats the problem?" --Okaasan
271. "How did I get whiplash? I stuck my head out a window and got hit by a falling person." --Izzy
272. "It looks like these guys went to a fight and a hockey game broke out." --Grissom, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
273. "I hope I spelled 'cake' right. I don't know if I put chicken or cake." --Katrina
274. "Its better that I landed on my face than your butt." --Heard in shoe store
275. "Is there anything beer can't do?" --Hank, King of the Hill
276. "They're in a blimp! I knew it! They're German! They have to be in a blimp! Not you Klad, you're half German. You're in a Sherman tank!" --Dokuhebichan
277. "Full German, you're in a blimp, half German you're in a Sherman tank, and a quarter German you're in a Vietzel stand!" --Dokuhebichan
278. "I smell something fruity ... Kiso really is nearby!!" --Senpaichan
279. "The lunatics are truly running the asylum." --Chuckie, Chop Socky Chooks
280. "You're gunna get a big, fat, Egg." --Mrs. B
281. "There's no sport in humiliating a dead man." --Sy, CSI:Crime Scene Investigation
282. "Why does it have to be eleven seconds? Why can't it be seven? Or fourteen? Or some other random useless number?" --Senpaichan
283. "I gave myself sound effects and it hurt." --Dokuhebichan
284. "After so long, naturally, I went mad, but after awhile I got bored with that and went sane again. Very sane." --Dr. Paradox, Ben 10: Alien Force
285. "Ther're good trips, there're bad trips, and there're trips right off the balcony." --Catherine, CSI:Crime Scene Investigation
286. "But how are we supposed to vanquish a mountain of living lard?" --Chuckie, Chop Socky Chooks
287. "I have your eye ......... STOP BLINKING!" --Senpaichan
288. "He's got a dirty fucking mouth." --Izzy
289. "That would be the cone of uncertainty." --Mr. H
290. "You're much smarter than you were when I met you later." --Dr. Paradox, Ben 10: Alien Force
291. "Come on down! And spend 200 dollars less of what you would've already spent!" --Commercial
292. "I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE! I'm hungry." --Otousan
293. "Ah crap. You two are agreeing again..." --Foreman, House MD
294. "I'm just worried about the effect this will have on my isms." --Shichan
295. "Gaining intellectual superiority, one fact at a time." --Shirt
296. "But that's not the problem here! I'm oozing secretions I never knew I had!!" --Chibisuke
297. "If I had a dog, and that dog had a kid, and that kid had a pet... THAT would be Sid." --Manny, Ice Age 2
298. "Only you could feel like crap about doing something good." --Wilson, House MD
299. "These kids are dropping like flies...... Enormous, good-looking, teenage flies." --Commercial
300. "You know, I'd get it if people were just looking for a way to fill the holes. But they want the holes. They wanna live in the holes. And they go nuts when someone else pours dirt in their holes... CLIMB OUT OF YOUR HOLES, PEOPLE!!!" --House, House MD
301. "Yes, cuz this was much more productive than building my roller coaster." --Dokuhebichan
302. "I just remembered! I left my apartment... on fire!" --Leela, Futurama
303. "Technically... that makes you a cannibal." --Sarah, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
304. "I have my own eyes, thank you." --Katrina
305. "He used a teenage colloquialism. Use the tear gas." --Policeman, Family Guy
306. "Well, he didn't buy his walk-through-walls machine at Walk Through Wall-Mart." --Jack Carter, Eureka
307. "Ah... one win under his belt and already thinking of glory...... you could stop that." --Rod Ryan, 94.5 The Buzz
308. "Why does he live in a giant egg?" --Dokuhebichan
309. "I don't care about colour. As long as they can help me breed a superior race." --House, House MD
310. "Leave the city to get away from crime and guns fall out of the sky." --Catherine, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
311. "Shh. Be vewy, vewy quiet ... we're hunting demons." --Phoebe, Charmed
312. "My DNA is wobbly!" --Senpaichan
313. "Time for light sabre tag!" --Heard at school
314. "Get out of my temporal lobe, House!" --Foreman, House MD
315. "Were you twirling?" --Piper, Charmed
316. "AAAHH!!! Am I alive?!" --Commercial
317. "Why you... half-witted... stuck-up... scruffy-lookin... Nurf herder!!" --Princess Leia, Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back
318. "0 degrees Kelvin, baby. Bless you, Proton reactor!" --Vincent, Eureka
319. "Here's what you're gunna do twinkles. You're gunna reach into that handy little tacklebox of yours and pull us out a miracle." --Lois, Smallville
320. "Gotta go. Building full of sick people. If I hurry, maybe I can avoid them." --House, House MD
321. "So I say to myself, 'Okay, self...'." --Mrs. S
322. "AAAHH! It beat me! The milk beat me!" --Heard at school
323. "Excuse me, I'm 9 and I'm a junior. I don't 'play house'." --Kayla, Eureka
324. "Well, what can I say? Marriage is a great ride... until you puke." --Alan, Two and a Half Men
325. "Reminder: There is no smoking on school grounds... or freezing, or melting, or bursting into flames." --Announcement, Sky High
326. "Foottits. The boils are always in pairs." --Emmers
327. "That's music? It sounds like a moose giving birth to an elephant." --Grim, The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
328. "I told you. She only has thighs for me." --House, House MD
329. "Yay! I'm happy! Get out." --Katrina
330. "Whose 'scruffy-lookin'?" --Han Solo, Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back
331. "And it will turn out that peein in that guy's shampoo bottle was the best career move you ever made..." --Seth McFarlane
332. "I don't wanna go down there! It's dark and scary and smells like death!" --Chowder, Chowder
333. "When they seize your ass, that's fourth amendment." --Mr. CJP
334. "Okay. Lets go figure out how to save a nun." --House, House MD
335. "Scoundrel? Scoundrel?! ....... I kinda like the sound of that." --Han Solo, Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back
336. "Well it's a packaged deal! My sperm and my brother go hand in hand!" --Charlie, Two and a Half Men
337. "Don't you look at me with that tone of voice." --Zane, Eureka
338. "You're not that boy with the six arms, are you?" --Mr. Grayson, Sky High
339. "Rational mind ....... shutting down." --Velma, Scooby Doo and the Goblin King
340. "To mirth! To merriment! ............ To manslaughter!" --Gomez, Addams Family Values
341. "AH! Kahn jr.! What is that sound you're making?! It sounds like you're strangling a seagull with a bagpipe." --Kahn, King of the Hill
342. "Well, it looked kinda like some sorta turtle ...... in a trench coat. You said Lumberg street, right?" --Taxi Driver, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Movie
343. "Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot I had chimes on my ass." --Kitsunechan
344. "If you need a tall, pure glass of awesome, I ... will be in the kitchen." --Commercial
345. "I got raped by mosquitoes, miss." --Heard at school
346. "Oh god ... you're upset about something ...... You're gunna open up to me now, aren't you?" --House, House MD
347. "Where are we going? And whats with the handbasket?" --Shirt
348. "Maybe if your relative actions weren't comparable to those of an 8 year old child, you might be taken seriously." --Shichan
349. "Has anyone seen tweedle dum and tweedle idiot?" --Duncan, Total Drama Island
350. "I think you're confusing nice with evil." --Cuddy, House MD
351. "Sometimes... he worries me. But then... I remember... I don't care." --Tori
352. "Okay, lets listen to me!!" --Mrs. S
353. "We are the children of the bubble." --Hayatekun
354. "Boy meets girl, girl ends up dead." --Sarah, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
355. "Hey, hands off those hands." --Piper, Charmed
356. "Mudhole? Slimy? My home this is." --Yoda, Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back
357. "What the hell is a shen and why is it lopsided?" --House, House MD
358. "Crazy or not, here we come." --Grissom, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
359. "Man boxing a kangaroo is surely a sight to behold. But when you show me a kangaroo boxing a robot ... well then, I'm afraid you've lost me." --Teddy Roosevelt, Futurama
360. "Alot of countries are cutting back because their economies are going down the toilet clockwise or counter clockwise, depending on what hemisphere you're in." --Mr. H
361. "I don't get people." --Grissom, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
362. "Gruesome and low-tech. Kiss me, I love it ... A 5-6-7-8!!!" --House, House MD
363. "The eggnog's there if you want it. Unless you... suddenly... become lactose intolerant, then... it'll be painful cramps and bloating." --Nole, Casper: A Scary Christmas
364. "Here lies Bob. She's dead." --Mork, Mork & Mindy
365. "If I'd have learned how to laugh as a child, I would right now." --Lars Euing, Psych
366. "I swear on my testicles ............. Fine, I swear on my hair." --Hayatekun
367. "Good lord man! What kind of temporary woman are you?!" --Hermes, Futurama
368. "No, they're nudists, you see. They only wear clothing in the privacy of their own home." --Senpaichan
369. "My clothes are ripped and you're covered in goo. What happened?" --Steve, Never Cry Wolf
370. "I don't like loud angry giants threatening me with violence. How is that pathetic?" --House, House MD
371. "Time to turn off your diesel-powered hairdryers and fondle some trees: it's Earth Day!" --Lead, GaiaOnline
372. "I love it when you two try to impersonate earthlings." --Angela, Bones
373. "You got the tearducts, cry for me!" --Kitsunechan
374. "Don't just stand there gawping! Have you never seen the hand of God before?!" --Sargeant Major, Monty Python's the Meaning of Life
375. "All it takes is one swift push to kill us all." --Laurn
376. "The puffer swells to massive size when angry, just like the famous green superhero (Batman)." --Shops, GaiaOnline
377. "This morning, I woke up a opossum, and now, I'm a mammoth." --Ellie, Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
378. "Are we roleplaying? ...Am I you? I don't wanna be you." --Wilson, House MD
379. "That's just a ghastly and unacceptable phrase I like to use." --Stephen Fry, A Bit of Fry and Laurie
380. "Mom! Frosting! There's ... cake under it!" --Kate, John Tucker Must Die
381. "Hey! I remember this episode! She's a man!" --Dokuhebichan
382. "I'm being ridiculous? There is a demon...in the playpen." --Chris, Charmed
383. "You do know I don't actually have magical powers." --Wilson, House MD
384. "There's a loop people! And I'm in it. In fact I'm the the ... big, loopy part." --Kim, Bones
385. "Well, the lights are going down behind us, as you can probably hear." --Stephen Fry, A Bit of Fry and Laurie
386. "You've got to stop looking at him like he's a baby and start looking at him like he's an unstoppable killing machine." --Chris, Charmed
387. "I am neither for nor against. I am in the middle and largely unconvinced by either side." --Klad
388. "You see that's what staring at paint for three days does to you..." --Mrs. L
389. "I owe it to the world to make sure this evil never sees the light of day." --House, House MD
390. "You know what I noticed? Nobody panics when things go 'according to plan.' Even if the plan is horrifying." --The Clown Prince of Crime, The Dark Knight
391. "I don't respond well to intimidation. Makes me feel icky." --Mort Rainy, Secret Window
392. "Love is in the purified and ionized lab air." --Hodgins, Bones
393. "Why are you running? I'm only gunna hurt you alot." --Heard at school
394. "You've changed your mind since yesterday? What'd he do? Buy you dinner? Buy you roses? Threaten to drown your dog?" --Vogler, House MD
395. "Call the Vatican. See if something is missing." --Ben, Analyze This
396. "Excuse me while I go help my pathetic friend." --Mindy, Mork & Mindy
397. "Honey, don't crush your sister's dreams ... Life will do that for her." --Rita, Rita Rocks
398. "That's a decision you need to make somewhere where they're not serving booze that jiggles." --Reba, Reba
399. "It's time to go back to the shop and ... torture some dummies." --Jamie, Mythbusters
400. "I geuss you can't be around that much niceness and not get any on you." --Wilson, House MD
401. "Mom, what're you doing? Put the shotgun down." --Michael, Burn Notice
402. "It's not denial. I'm just very selective about the reality I accept." --Shichan
403. "You have Paige stuck in the past and a demonic blob roaming the house. How is that handling things?" --Penny, Charmed
404. "Well nothing brings people together like a Christmas lung fungus." --Booth, Bones
405. "I know this isn't easy for you. You'll suffer. Vicodin sales in Jersey will triple. But you are doing a good thing." --Wilson, House MD
406. "We'll talk about this later ....... endlessly." --Shian, Reba
407. "Now children, didn't your mother ever tell you? Play with fire and you get ... firecracker beetles!" --V.V. Argost, The Secret Saturdays
408. "Omigod! This is scary! Little hamsters are falling from the sky!" --Laurn
409. "Maybe she's allergic to God." --Wilson, House MD
410. "I killed the squirrels ..... and possibly their cat. But I am NOT a murderer!" --Suspect, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
411. "Stop trying to get a good grade..." --Mrs. S
412. "Have you hugged your egg today?" --Mork, Mork & Mindy
413. "I'm not saying anything until the metaphor plays itself out." --Foreman, House MD
414. "Knowing is half the battle. The other half is violence." --Shichan
415. "You wanna 'get this over with?' That's the kind of attitude you take to a proctologist, not a wedding." --Alan, Two and a Half Men
416. "The computers in the bunker are 70 years old. It's like trying to teach Licoln how to use an iPhone." --Fargo, Eureka
417. "Wow ... you must've been a real jerk. Because no matter what I do I can't get them to stop talking to me." --Warren, Sky High
418. "I can be a jerk to people I haven't slept with, ya know. I am that good." --House, House MD
419. "Wow ... I wanna see that in a bunch of squiggles." --Dokuhebichan
420. "What are talking bout? It's WORKING! It's FUNCTION! I need to play with the camera!" --Heard at school
421. "Who will be selfless? Who will be selfish? And who will eat shellfish?" Chris, Total Drama Island
422. "It's really a wake up call when your eyesight interferes with your gambling." --Helen, Still Standing
423. "What's red and smells like blue paint? ........ Red paint." --Carrie, Mythbusters
424. "Wah?! Now that is something you just do not do to a guy's van!!" --Fred, Scooby Doo and the Goblin King
425. "Bobby! Put that down! That's the jug I put stuff in." --Hank, King of the Hill
426. "Total ownage never gets old." --Harry Masterson, Transformers: Animated Series
427. "Two-wheeled vehicles that travel 150 miles an hour don't really go well with crippled, irresponsible drug addicts." --Wilson, House MD
428. "Actually, two-wheeled vehicles that go 180 miles an hour do not go well with healthy, responsible architects who don't know how to separate braking and turning." --House, House MD
429. "In the end, my girlfriend became my arch rival, my arch rival became my best friend, and my best friend became my girlfriend. Well, what can I say? That's high school for you." --Will Stronghold, Sky High
430. "Great investigating skills Peggy. Now lets gather up all your notes here and I'll fire up the grill." --Hank, King of the Hill
431. "I'll show you his thighs later." --Konekochan
432. "You've always been a sucker for people who pee on you." --Jane, Speaker For the Dead
433. "Attention you scum-sucking vultures!" --Okaasan
434. "We're not shy. We're contagious." --Wednesday, Addams Family Values
435. "It's his process. That ball saves lives." --Wilson, House MD
436. "I feast on the blood of innocent jokes." --Kitsunechan
437. "We can't expect alien visitors to solve all our problems Dale." --Hank, King of the Hill
438. "Oh, he who dings the shell must PAY!" --Michaelangelo, Teenage Mutan Ninja Turtles 3
439. "You can molest him, it's okay, he's gay, he won't move." --Konekochan
440. "Oh don't mind me! After all, you know what they say: Two's company, three's a corporation!" --Iggy, Initial D
441. "A mime is a terrible thing to waste." --Nic, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
442. "You see ... madness ... is like gravity. All it takes ... is a little PUSH." --The Clown Prince of Crime, The Dark Knight
443. "I am not warm and fuzzy and you are practically a stuffed animal made by grandma." --House, House MD
444. "Silence you contemptable shrew!" --Stewie, Family Guy
445. "As a wise elder, I have never uttered these words ... I don't get it." --The Ancient One, Mork & Mindy
446. "Would you like an organic pop-tart?" --John Redcorn, King of the Hill
447. "How were you supposed to know your girlfriend was a complete and total psychopath?" --The Commander, Sky High
448. "Wow. Muscles AND curves. My penis is so confused." --House, House MD
449. "BA-TRAYAL!!!" --Van, Reba
450. "You know atmospheric sulphur levels are on the rise? In a hundred years, we're all gunna look like spinach." --Grissom, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
451. "Now that's a WOMAN!!! Thats a house. Thats a fish. Thats a bee!" --Quagmire, Family Guy
452. "Sniff sniff ... HOORAY!" --Commercial
453. "Let me get this straight. You think that your client...one of the wealthiest, most powerful men in the world...is secretly a vigilante who spends his nights beating criminals to a pulp with his bare hands...and your plan is to blackmail this person? Good luck...." --Lucius Fox, The Dark Knight
454. "Now ... get down and ..... sniff the rug." --Catherine, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
455. "I'll get you! And your little hand, too!" --Debbie, Addams Family Values
456. "I had a run in with tree..." --Vicki
457. "Thanks Ralph! I may never have hiccups again!" --Donatello, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Slime
458. " 'Never' is just 'reven spelled backwards." --House, House MD
459. "No kiddin! I got no shins!" --Cotton, King of the Hill
460. "Yes! I'M the slutty friend! SURPRISE!!" --Reba, Reba
461. "You're like a geeky, nerdy guy trapped in a woman's body." --Hodges, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
462. "Way to glow Zach." --Ethan, Sky High
463. "Spying on 30 million people isn't part of my job description." --Lucius Fox, The Dark Knight
464. "Look at us. Its just like the old days. You secreting ... me absorbing." --Dale, King of the Hill
465. "I love the smell of puss in the morning. It smells like ... Victory." --House, House MD
466. "Hodges ... I want you to stop stalking me." --Grissom, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
467. "Holy...ah...eh...uh...BALLS!" --Senpaichan
468. "Ya know, maybe Bobby's right about this 'its okay to be happy' stuff." --Hank, King of the Hill
469. "You pig! You fucking French pig!" --Gordon Ramsay, Hell's Kitchen
470. "A guy abuses wildlife and then bursts into flames. I call it karma." --Dave, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
471. "I don't care about your feelings, Reuben!" --Heard at work
472. "I shall not stand idly buy while you abrogate my plans! You will rue this day! Well what are you waiting for?! SART RUING!!" --Stewie, Family Guy
473. "NAH! MY ORAL FIXATION!!" --Dale, King of the Hill
474. "You are cured! Rise and walk!" --House, House MD
475. "Be my fanny." --Gordon Ramsay, The F Word
476. "SAY IT! SAY IT'S EIGHT INCHES FROM THE CURB!" --Michael, Burn Notice
477. "If your cows weren't so fat you wouldn't use gelatin. You'd make regular skittles instead." --Koto
478. "TAKE ME WITH YOU! I hate it here ..." --Bill, King of the Hill
479. "What makes a guy start drooling? Chase ... were you wearing your short-shorts?" --House, House MD
480. "FUCK YOU BUTTONS!!" --Senpaichan
481. "We probably just missed him, the beer is still cold." --Sam, Burn Notice
482. "I woke up at like eight... didn't want to get up so I went back to sleep." --Vicki
483. "C'mon ... before the shrieking harpie melts my brain." --House, House MD
484. "Are you just going to sit there and wait for your phone to ri--? *ringing phone* I made that happen." --Evan, Royal Pains
485. "In some ways it doesn't matter. In other ways it doesn't matter at all." --Commercial
486."Why do you reject my LOVE, little brother?!" --heard at RenFest job training
487."I wish to simply ooze knowledge! Or at least some other viscous fluid..." --Dokuhebichan
488."My client was not the cause of her death. She died due to an overdose of brick wall while under the influence of a ferrari and a bottle of tequila." --Chibisuke
489."There's nothing you can't do if you set your mind to it, but you're less likely to screw it up if you send somebody else." --Klad
490."Arrow in your ass?! What are you talking about? I just have a bow ..... Same for the axe!" --heard at RenFest job training
491."It's not rape if you yell surprise, or in this case, SHAZAM!" --Dokuhebichan
492."Can't murder now ... eating." --Homer, The Simpsons
493."I'm not talking teets with you!" --Booth, Bones
494."HAHA! Now the rubber bands on the other claw!" --Zoidberg, Futurama
495."You don't have to worry about my finances, cause I'm starting a cult." --heard at school
496."I love what doesn't exist, I hate what isn't there." --Shichan
497."A delightful blend of mischief, caffeine, toys, and fuzz." --Chibisuke
498."Now I've gotten word that a child is using his imagination and I've come to put a stop to it." --Principal Skinner, The Simpsons
499."I can't help it, sugar is my pimp!" --Lauren, What I Like About You
500."Just because I have breasts doesn't mean I have magical powers over infants." --Bones, Bones
501."And so I was arrested for indecent exposure, but I was really just trying to speed things up." --Man on cell at Tampa airport
502."Actually I was gunna make a cult, but I decided not to." --heard at school
503."No! No you bunny hating bastards! Don't do this!" --Randy Marsh, South Park
504."Thats easy for you to say. This time I'll collect the money and YOU can die." --Draco, Dragonheart
505."She's got no lady parts..." --David, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
506."Aw, isn't that cute he's trying to claw my eyes out." --Flanders, The Simpsons
507."What kind of a name is Hanka Honka?" --Dokuhebichan
508."Well just spit on me first, see if that helps." --Kikuchiyo, Samurai 7
509."MUAHAHAHA! Gradient!!" --Senpaichan
510."Uh-oh, I'm confusing myself again..." --Chibisuke
511."Actually ... I was visiting my cousins, and we ate alot of beets, and the next day...." --Zach Addy, Bones
512."I merely chewed in self-defense.....But I never swallowed." --Draco, Dragonheart
513."My car looks like I'm drunk." --Dokuhebichan
514."Put a broadcast out. We'll find her. She's very shiny." --Brass, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
515."Whaddya mean no skills? At least I can make you laugh, I should get a badge for that." --heard at school
516."Watch you back! Half a corpse! Comin through!" --Paramedic, The Simpsons
517."He looks like a bat that flew into a window....... YOU FRIGHTEN SMALL CHILDREN!!" --Andrew Wilkow
518."Piggy banks were not harmed in the making of this party." --Commercial
519."A killer satellite, a row of cherry trees, red tears, Fantasy World ... and the cold formaldehyde bubbles." --Kyosuke, Soultaker
520."I was staring off into the distance and its right there next to your head." --Dokuhebichan
521."One button! Taunt, taunt, taunt, whoo! Free taunt!" --Oniisan
522."I feel like an ant. An important ant, but an ant none the less." --Senpaichan
523."Sons of bitches are always on a learning curve!" --Bert, Tremors 3
524."I shit bats and nazis stole my anus." --Tara
525."Dad! I am not a lobster!" --Frasier, Fraiser
526."Am I hungry hank? Because I feel hungry." --Bill, King of the Hill
527."I called shotgun. What does it mean to a society when the nicities are no longer observed?" --Hodgins, Bones
528."I bring you gifts of pants and chocolate!" --Kitsunechan
529."So my daughter became my son and now I'm married to a goat." --Senpaichan